“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
We have heard this quote on multiple occasions, but how does it affect us and our children? From birth, a parent serves as the ultimate role model for their children. So from birth, we need to embody the values and expectations we have of our children. How can you expect to live, nonetheless raise a child, in an environment/neighborhood that does not sustain suitable living conditions for all of its inhabitants. If you grew up in the projects, you know firsthand the impact that that environment has on your life and those around you. You are not bound for success. You are not bound for wealth. You aren’t even bound to live past the age of 30 if you are a black male living in the projects. But you are bound for imprisonment. You are bound to sell/abuse drugs. You are bound to be someone’s baby daddy/momma.
We must first change the way we feel, think and act to enforce that positivity upon our youth. In order to have an effect on a person, you must first epitomize something desirable. In the hood, being the dope man is epitomized, therefore the youth in the hood aspire to be just that. In a better community, being the CEO of a company is epitomized, therefore the youth there aspire to be just that. Kids are influenced visually and materialistically. Both of these ‘occupations:’ the dope man and the CEO both gain the same things visually and materialistically. Both gain large amounts of money, both gain respect for their achievement and position, both in similar ways, but under different circumstances. So what’s the difference between the dope man’s children and those of the CEO? It’s their actions, state of mind and height of their emotional stability.
When your child reaches the age of 21, where do you want them to be? Based on who you are, is it in their favor to be a success or a failure? If you drop out of school at a 10th grade level, why would you expect your child to want to succeed in school if you have failed to do so? If you use men to get what you need to survive, why you expect your daughter to want to work for her money? If you, as a man, enjoy the satisfaction of knowing you have slept with a multitude of women, why would you expect your son to remain childless until in a committed relationship?
It has always been said that actions speak louder than words, and I strongly believe that it holds true in every aspect of life. “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” We as a society are a great people. We have the potential to do and be anything in this world that we want. But we are afraid to succeed because we feel we must constantly uphold that standard we are being held to. We are afraid to fail. If we as a people stop holding onto the insecurity of what the world thinks of our successes and failures, we can expand the possibilities and opportunities afforded to us. If we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and expose our weaknesses, but show that we are not afraid to try, fail or succeed, we pass that same liberation onto our children.
Simply trying to do and be better, even in failure, sends the message to our children, to our youth that you can do anything. You can be anyone. The world is your playground, go into it fearless, if you fall, get up and try again.
Written By: Merritt Catherine Ryan-Jones
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